How to Balance your Career And Marriage – The Critical Balance

In life “HAPPINESS” is very critical. Enjoying what you do is key. Like “H. JACKSON BROWN” stated that “success is getting what you want, Happiness is liking what you get. This simply means that you can be successful without being happy. But the simple truth is that we are the architect of our mood i.e. you alone can either decide to be happy or not. But being happy has a way of impacting positively to ones career or deliverables. Continue...

 

Getting married does not make you happy par say, however, staying happy in marriage makes you happier.

It has been proved that 1 in 10 marriages are likely to succeed and half of all marriages end up in divorce especially for career spouses.

 

  The best feeling in the world is realizing that you’re perfectly happy without those things that appear very indispensible. Indeed the Uruguay president, Jose Mujica is the poorest commander in chief ever known to history and yet he is the most contented living president.

 

A happy marriage has two people who love themselves and are committed to bringing out the best in each other, for instance, if your partner is struggling with an issue at work, you listen to him or her, talk about the situation and ask how you can give your support . “Always watch each other’s back”.

A happy marriage also has a climate of positive energy which includes gratitude and appreciation. Habits can either create or destroy this positive climate. Most people might say that they don’t have any habits.

 

Some negative attitude/habit include: criticism, rude, sarcasm, eye rolling etc.

 

“The trick is to harness healthy habits as opposed to destructive habits to create a positive climate” in your marriage and work as well. These healthy habits increase the chances of performing well at work.

 

Some of these healthy habits include but not limited to;

Greeting your partner lovingly every morning: When you first see your spouse, each day/morning, instead of having a negative or even neutral interaction, greet him with a positive statement e.g. “I’m glad to wake up beside you”. I’m so happy to be married to you”. (The key is to be positive and loving). Once you start your day on a very good note, it will definitely impact positively to your work.

 Send a sweet text: “use modern day technology to stay connected throughout the day by sending your spouse a playful, flirtatious or sweet text. E.g. “I miss you” “I can’t wait to have you tonight”.

 

   Compliment your partner at the end of the day: Many marriages suffer from chronic under-appreciation. Some of us don’t feel appreciated and we don’t show appreciation. The relationship becomes clouded by a sense of lack and taking each other for granted.

 Express your needs from a place of vulnerability: Often people will criticize as a way of describing their needs. So instead of a request, it comes out as an attack.  For example if you’re annoyed that your spouse pays so much attention to his work than family, you might decide to say “you’re always involved with your office work!, rather than saying : “I’ll like to spend some more time with you” or could you spend more time with me? This involves a dialogue between partners.

Feel each other’s breath: This might sound strange, but it’s a powerful way to enhance your intimacy. Show some love to your spouse, honour and respect each other.  Some days you probably won’t feel like showing appreciation or being affectionate, If you are in a miserable mood or downright exhausted, it affects your totality, but “If you do a loving behavior, you start to feel more loving and it affects your attitude positively even in your work place.

 Be faithful to your spouse: The easiest way of having a happy home is being faithful to each other.

 

  You can comfortably combine your career with love. Its up to you, however.

  I presume we all wish to be successful in different aspects of life: career and private life. Sometimes it even seems easier, simple to succeed in your job.

 The fact is that we can’t separate out aspects of our lives and grade them separately. They all influence one another and are inter-woven and related. It is certain that the chance of finding satisfaction in love is greater on one who also finds satisfaction in his/her work.

    The most successful lives are lived quietly by people who have satisfaction in work and a warm love at home. That is to say people who strike a work-life balance.

 If  life of your spouse does not support your passion, your goals, dreams, your ideas, there is no point trying to succeed, because the minute you start surrounding yourself with negative pessimistic people who don’t believe in success, you are on the road to failure. Sometimes looking from the outside, the successful people appear to have it all; I however, suspect that if you look a little bit closer, it may not be as greener as it appears on the other side. I guess it is important to find the right balance in each of our lives.

Some of the very successful people I know have made very significant sacrifices in their personal/family lives cum careers.

 

    Having a balanced relationship could actually help you be a more successful professional. I am not saying you have to have love to be successful. But if you have a partner and intentionally talk about how to build a relationship in which you support each other’s goals, then you have a huge asset career wise.

Your love can be a source of wisdom, emotional support, practical support (sharing house work, cooking so that the healthy meals are available, talking out work struggles etc) your partner can help you relax (remember you think more effectively i.e. your brain functions better when you are less stressed).

  Having a successful partner at home can motivate you to work more effectively, efficiently and deliver more results. Usually the habit of staying much longer in the office beyond working hours is one of the most ineffective work habits which should not be encouraged. You must not shy away from going home after a hard days job, rather you should be looking forward to what I call “me time’ with your inner most circle, which is your family. 

It is absolutely possible to have success both in your profession and love life. Though it is not that easy to strike a work-life balance, you are encouraged to work for your heart in both cases, as you please pay attention to the phrase “WORK FOR YOUR HEART” for it is in giving that you receive.